And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
