Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
