I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
