So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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