Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
