sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
