Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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