Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i think my cat just said my name.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
