I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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