She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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