physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
