This girl is more easily done than said...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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