Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
