Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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