remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
