oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
