69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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