She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize