Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she looked like the before picture.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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