Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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