the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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