I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
