Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
