I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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