in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
