Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
