I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
