somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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