I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
