Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
