imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
