you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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