well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
