I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
