i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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