you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
