I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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