it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
