D3 body, D1 cock
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
