you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
