OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
