i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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