i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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