Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
