I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
