I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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