Your tits are I can't wait for
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize