i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
