I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I have post one night stand depression
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
