She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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