so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
