fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
