me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
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And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
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Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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