drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
