Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
