tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
