Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
