I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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