Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
