Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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