what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize