Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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