Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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