so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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