direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize