I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
