Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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